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Evolution The Homo sapiens are considered the most complicated species on Earth. It can be safe to say that the knowledge of our biological system is less than twenty-five percent. From the ambiguity of how our cells work to the mystery of how our brains functions, we have a long road ahead to completely understanding our own bodies. Gods Gift Men, a walking question mark: so sophisticated and intriguing. Errrin a biological sense that is. Women have tried to understand why men act and do the things they do but they have yet to fathom how simplistic males are. Do guys get all aroused when seeing a girl with big-uns? Do guys get excited when power tools are in their hands? Or do guys love sports more than their lives? Well, yeah maybe, but those thoughts are not complete. Perhaps one of mans greatest desires and Gods greatest gift to men is (drumroll please) FOOD! 
Secret #1 Many girls wonder why men have such a short attention span. Try to sit a guy down for a deep conversation and youll get a blank stare after only a few minutes. Sure we may answer, Thats nice, but of course girls do not realize that its the universal answer. Guys rule of thumb: when you dont have the heart to say something negative, cant say something positive, or dont even know what the hell she is saying, then answer Thats nice. Okay so how do you get a guys attention and keep him quiet? Hmm the answer is... FOOD! Sit a hot plate down in front of a guy and hell be more than happy to hear you talk about what you did from morning to night even down to the most intricate details. Secret #2 Okay, so youre a chick and you want to make a guy do something. Of course its a natural habit for guys to be lazy. Now, you want him take out the trash or take you out for dinner? Yeah right. Maybe after a nap and then maybe another nap. So how do you make a guy work? Yet again the answer is... FOOD! Ever seen a starving guy not listen? Evolution hasnt given us the ability to prepare a meal yet so if you want labor out of us, give us a big plate of the good stuff. Secret #3 Got in a big argument with your man? When it comes to making up for mistakes, a guy is never intrigued by superficial and materialistic things. Sure you can clean up the house, buy him new underwear, get him premium cable, or even wear lingerie and prance around him. But all of that does not compare to you turning on the "If Yan Can Cook, So Can You!" show, learn a few new recipes, and make your man a full 7 course meal. One more time, the answer is... FOOD! By the time hes done eating, he wont be able to even remember why he was pissed. In actuality, hes already forgotten but of course he must act pissed for you to cook him up this meal. So there you go: The girls guide to satisfying the guys. FOOD, FOOD, FOOD! By now, I would venture to guess that some of you feminists would be hopping mad. Thus I present to you this disclaimer: Neither I, nor the KC team share or endorse the sarcastic, and intentional sexist attitude presented in this article. So chicks out there, dont worry, we wont bite. *wink wink* |
